Apology
by playswithdolls
Summary: Riku made the biggest mistake when he was 15; hurting his best friend in the worst way possible. Now, being 19, he knows he has to find a way to apologize to the brunette. Drama, Rape, Lemons, Love, Forgiveness? You'll just have to find out yourself. RikuxSora. Slight AxelxSora.
1. Introduction

**Le gasp! A RikuxSora Story? Crazy, right?**

**This chapter has a lemonyrapescene, so caution of that!**

**No flames ;_;**

**DiZ-Claimer: I don't own kingdom hearts, mmkaaay?**

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Sora and I were hardly teens when it happened, well, he was anyways. I was 15, and it was his 13th birthday. I remember the smile on his face all day at school, and how he bragged like he had gotten a blue ribbon in some contest.

It was really cute.

Sora had been my best friend for eight years since then, since he was five. We had been really close too, and we spent all of our time together. That included the days we hung out with Kairi, but even if she wasn't there, we'd still hang out.

Sora was the innocent hyper kid, while I was more quiet and to myself. People always complained that I never smiled, but there was a reason for that. Normally, people smile when they like someone, right? I'm not talking about like as in boyfriend/girlfriend like, I'm just talking about like in general. Yeah, well, I've never liked anyone. Well, anyone but one person, but that's pretty obvious.

After school, on Sora's birthday, we sat in our usual spots on the tree looking over the ocean. Sora was blabbing on about something, but I was completely zoned out; I was thinking about how fucking beautiful his skin looked when the sunlight hit it, but he was beautiful regardless.

"Riku?"

I snapped out of my daze when Sora called for me. For a moment, I was frozen. How weird would it be if he knew that I had just been staring at him and thinking about how amazingly gorgeous he is? I'll tell you; very weird.

"Hm?" I replied casually, and he tilted his head in confusion, but didn't ask any questions. He shrugged it off and gave me one of those famous smiles of his. "You're going to come to my party Saturday, right? It's not really a party, but my mom said I could invite two people to spend the night, so I chose you and Roxas."

I studied him for a moment before replying with a nod. I didn't really get along with Roxas, but, I'd deal with it to be with Sora.

Sora's smile widened before he turned back towards the ocean and closed his eyes. I hated that I felt this way towards him; it was like hell. I wanted him, I wanted my best friend, and I couldn't decide whether or not I should tell him. I battled with my mind for a little bit, and I realized that I couldn't just sit here anymore. It was too risky. I'd snap if I did.

I hopped off the bent paopu tree without a sound and headed towards the secret cave Sora and I had found when we were children. I remember the day we found it, too. Sora was 7, and I was 9. He had always been afraid of dark places, and always liked to hide behind me when it came to face the unknown.

"You wanna go in, Sora?" I asked happily and gave him one of my many mischievous smirks.

"Yeah! If you go in first!" He returned my smirk and I replied with a smile and the roll of my eyes.

The cave was a lot larger than either of us could have possibly imagined. Even if it was dark and damp, it was awesome.

"This can be our special place, Riku!" Sora shouted happily, gazing around like a child in a candy store.

I nodded and smiled. "Yeah of course it can Sor. Just you and I will know about it."

"Deal!"

Well, unfortunately, as quickly as that deal was made, it was broken. One day, when Sora had too much homework to do I decided to hang out in our special spot. Everything was fine until I saw.. _it._

_It_ was a drawing of Kairi and Sora together, and I had known that he had brought her here. My heart shattered into a billion pieces, and I screamed and kicked and cursed and I decided to ignore Sora for a week straight. He bugged me until I caved and agreed to talk to him again.

So now, here I was, 15 years old and staring at the picture with my palm pressed between their faces. I loved Sora, and I knew it was more than just friendly. How could I tell him though?

Not five minutes later, I could hear footsteps at the mouth of the cave, and I knew it was Sora. He had come looking for me like he always did when he sensed something was wrong.

"Riku. Rikuuuuu."

His voice echoed through the cave and I flinched.

"Stop yelling Sora. I told you before that I can hear you just fine when you don't yell." I replied softly once I noticed he was beside me.

"Well maybe you should reply quicker and I wouldn't yell!"

"You're yelling right now…"

"Sorry."

I looked up into those cerulean eyes and I noticed his eyebrows were now furrowed. "Riku, what are you doing?" He asked, and I exhaled, I guessed that now would be a better time than never.

"i…"

"Are you mad at me?"

It was my turn to furrow my eyebrows. I shook my head quickly. "No, why would I be mad at yo-"

Before I knew it, Sora had his arm tightly around my neck and I was pulled into a violent hug. I found myself quickly wrapping my arms around his waist and hugging him back. The feeling of being close to him was nice, and I didn't want to lose that. Not too quickly anyway.

"Good! I thought you were mad at me! I'm so happy that you're not!"

The feeling of being close was gone, and I realized that I wasn't satisfied with just a hug… I wanted more. With all of these thoughts running through my head lately I couldn't help myself, and I instantly grabbed him by the face and pressed my lips roughly against his.

He squirmed, but I managed to hold him down. I pulled away and focused on leaving trails of kisses down the soft skin of his neck. My free hand found the zipper to his pants, and pulled it down with ease, then realization hit him.

"Riku! What are you doing!? Stop!" He yelled, but I couldn't. I couldn't stop myself. Not now.

His pants were off in an instant, and that caused him to squirm more. Tears caught at the corner of his eyes, but I didn't care at the moment. I wanted him, and now wasn't a time to stop what I was doing.

My teeth found his earlobe, and tugged at it lightly. "Sora…" I whispered softly, and heard him whine in response. I somehow managed to peel his shirt away from him, and I feverishly attacked one of his beautiful pink nubs with my mouth. My tongue swirled around and my teeth grazed over the sensitive flesh. I felt it harden in my mouth, so then I moved to the next one.

Just as before, it was quick to harden, so I moved back up to his neck, despite his protests for me to stop.

I didn't have time to do anything but unzip and unbutton my pants and pull my throbbing erection out. I noticed Sora's eyes turn to dinner plates with fright, but it was too late, and I was too far gone to care. Somewhere in my movements I had discarded his underwear, so my brunette best friend laid nude beneath me; crying, squirming, and begging for me to get off of him.

At one point, when his mouth opened I shoved two fingers in it and demanded for him to suck. He did as told, because Sora was one to follow what he was to do, though there was a moment of hesitation.

His tongue roamed over my digits, and a thick layer of saliva quickly coated them. "Good boy." I purred, then pulled them out of his mouth.

It wasn't much longer before I found his entrance. One finger swirled around playfully before actually slipping in. Sora gasped, and the tears slid down his cheeks. I kissed them away gently, and my eyes met with his. He was terrified.

"Riku, I don't want this."

"It'll be over soon."

"Please, stop."

"I can't."

Then entered a second finger. I gave him no time to adjust, so he yelled out in pain. After a few ministrations in and out, I removed my fingers completely and positioned my cock right at his entrance. With the first push, he screamed.

"Riku!"

"Shh."

Once I was completely inside, I gave him a slight break and just kept myself there. He cried, and whimpered, but he couldn't move. His body was frozen with mine, and it was too late for him to fight and stop me.

I pulled my erection all the way out and slammed back in. I repeated this several times and ignored his cries for me to stop. All of the,

"Riku please!"

And

"I don't want this!"

Meant nothing to me.

I continued to pound into my best friend until I came, and he was too tired to cry anymore.

After that day four years ago, Sora hasn't spoken a single word to me.

I don't blame him; I wouldn't speak to me either.

I did rape him after all.

Am I proud of myself? No, not at all. I wish I would have never fucking done it.

But I did, and I will find a way to apologize to him, and tell him what was going through my mind that day. I want him to know how much I wanted him to be mine.

I want to tell him how much I loved him.

How much I _still_ love him.

Are you willing to go on this journey with me?

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**Yes, no,** **maybe so? I'll have the next one up SOON.**

**Im already working on it.**

**One review for it to be posted though!**

**Please&Thankyou.**

**-playswithdolls-**


	2. Friends? I think not

**Oh look update! I told you I'd do it and I did. **

**I may be writing a lot more, and updating more, seeing how I get to type all day at school.**

**Okay, well, this is really chapter one.**

**Enjoy.**

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The light woke me up like it always did.

I didn't really have anything to cover my windows, plus light was a lot cheaper form of alarm clock. Even with my eyes closed though, there was nothing to block out the blinding light seeping in through the window and spilling into my room; which was pretty inconvenient on weekends.

It was Monday morning though, so instead of protesting to stay in bed like I did all weekend, I forced myself to sit up. I rubbed my eyes tiredly; the palms of my hands pushed against my closed eyelids and a circular motion.

Once I was satisfied with the quality of the 'eye massage', I stretched briefly. My back popped a couple times, then with a loud yawn, I slung my legs over the side of the bed and hissed when my bare feet met the cold wooden floor.

I stood up and rubbed my arms as to warm them up since my house was normally _freezing_. My dad was the one that liked the cold, I hated it.

My feet felt so heavy, that I had to drag them across the floor in order to get myself into the bathroom. I flicked on the light switch and my reflection resembled how I've pretty much been feeling the past couple of years; A worn down monster.

Why worn down? Well, since the night of the incident with Sora, I wasn't able to get much sleep at all. I stopped eating for a little while, but I started up again. I got scrawny at one point, but when the sadness and depression went away, anger appeared and I took it out at the gym. It wasn't long before I was back to having perfect muscle tone, but I still wasn't happy.

I'm _still_ not happy now. How could I be? I glared into the mirror, then looked away. I grabbed my tooth brush out of the toothbrush holder, which was shaped like a paopu fruit. I remembered when Sora had picked it out for me when we were kids, and I still had it. The whole time I scrubbed at my teeth, I thought about Sora, it was like this every morning; I couldn't look at anything without thinking about him.

"Riku! Sweetie? You need to hurry up if you don't want to be late for school!" My mother called. I grimaced once she said sweetie, but hurried up and finished brushing my teeth. I decided to skip the shower for the morning. I must've gotten up late, because my mom was on my ass all morning long.

Once I had buttoned the last button on my white polo shirt, I shoved my hands into khaki pockets and made my way into the living room. My backpack waited for me by the front door, and so did my mother. Her big brown eyes twinkled and she smiled one of those motherly smiles.

"You need to keep your chin up sweetie."

Again with that _sweetie_ stuff again. I nodded my head anyways and stood up straight instead of slouching like I normal did and gave her my best fake smile.

"Good boy. Have a nice day, honey. I love you." My mother said and I let out a light sigh before pulling my left hand out of my pocket and reaching down to snatch up my backpack from the ground.

"Love you too." I replied before making my way out of the front door before my mom could say anything else that made me feel… weird. I always hated the pet names she gave me, and now that I was older, I despised them.

I hardly lived two blocks away from school, so I had no problem walking there. Despite my cold exterior, I had a thing for weather. I loved being outside, and watching the seasons change. My favorite of all would have to be spring, however. I loved the chill of the breeze, but also the feeling of being completely anew made everything all the more better.

Right now, it was in the last week of autumn, and it was getting pretty chilly outside, but not enough to the point where I had to wear a jacket. I took in my surroundings as I walked my usual route to school; the sidewalk that I was walking on had many cracks, and almost dead grass poked through some of them. For being a Monday morning, there were hardly any cars passing by, nor were there any teens rushing to get to school. It was… odd. I felt so alone for some reason, but this wouldn't be the first time.

Twilight Town Academy stood hardly 5 feet away from me now, and students filled the parking lot and entry way. I managed to find a big enough gap for me to fit through to get inside the actual school building.

My friends and I had a schedule for school. Yuffie had declared that every morning 10 minutes before school started, we'd meet up at her locker. Marluxia ended up finding us a table in the lunch room at which all of us could sit without people throwing rotten food at us or calling us terrible names. The only downside was the table was right next to the trash can. It stunk, but it was better than the floor.

Demyx convinced the band teacher to let us borrow the band room during free period; which was awesome.

I didn't exactly make up any part in the schedule, because I honestly didn't care.

Yuffie and Demyx were already standing at the little wanna-be ninja's locker. The two looked like they were talking about something serious, but I was way too far away to catch anything that they were saying. The really weird part was the fact that they instantly shut up when they saw me. Curious, I raised an eyebrow and Yuffie.

"What were you two just talking about?" I asked, and Yuffie tilted her head curiously to the side. "What are you talking about?"

Her question only made me suspicious. They were obviously hiding something from me, but I chose to leave it alone for then, and change the subject.

"Right, well, what'd you two do this weekend?"

Demyx's green-blue eyes sparkled and his mouth opened as if he was about to tell me something, but Yuffie slapped one of her hands over his mouth.

"Well I practiced my ninja skills. I'm getting better at it! Oh, and Demyx and I had milkshakes yesterday."

"Why wasn't I invited?" I asked, sincere. Usually Demyx and Yuffie called and asked me to go along with them where ever they went. I was the 'responsible adult-type' apparently, and I always managed to get the duo out of trouble.

"You don't like icecream." Demyx replied with a pout. He was right, I hated ice-cream. I hated most sweets, especially cold sweets.

"What did you do, Ku?" Yuffie asked me and she obviously took note of the frown on my face, because she nodded and returned the frown.

"It was bad, wasn't it?"

I nodded slightly and ran my fingers through my hair. "Yeah, but, every weekend has been like this since…"

I felt a hand on my shoulder and glanced over to see Demyx, with a sympathetic look on his face. "Hey, don't stress yourself out about it right now, Riku."

I sighed, nodded, and regained my composure. Demyx and Yuffie both gave me sad smiles then realization his us all; "Hey, have you guys seen Marluxia?"

Demyx shook his head and Yuffie shrugged. "Nope!"

"Investigation! We can be the super sleuths!"

"Isn't that from a kids show, Demyx?" I asked, and he shook his head quickly. "No! It's a good show and it's perfectly appropriate for teens to watch!"

Yuffie and I laughed slightly and I rolled my eyes. "Whatever helps you sleep at night, Dem."

The shrill noise of the bell interrupted Demyx's complaining, and I quickly made my escape from Demyx's whining.

My first class was English IIII, and it seemed way too simple to be a senior class. I usually got an hour and a half more sleep, and then went to my second class. Today was different though, today Axel actually showed up.

He wouldn't be important if it wasn't for the fact that he's Sora's boyfriend, and every day he makes my life a living hell.

"Hey gramps." He greeted me with one of those stupid smiles he always had on his stupid face.

"Gramps?" I asked, with an eyebrow cocked, and he chuckled deep in his throat.

"Yeah, you got grey hair like my grandpa." He chuckled more, and wiped a fake tear away from his eye. I rolled my eyes and planted my face to my desk. That was only surprise number one though.

Number two happened hardly five minutes later when our teacher clapped his hands in order to get our attention. I lifted my head from my desk and my eyes instantly went to a student that I had never seen before. His hair was periwinkle, and swooped to the side. My eyes scanned down to his face, and I saw that his eyes were a bright blue.

"Class, this is Zexion, he's new, obviously. Be nice to him and try your best not to scare him off."

Our teacher's almost too-nice voice made my stomach churn, but I managed to smile when Zexion took a seat next to me.

"Hello, you looked nice." The boy greeted me, and I nodded dumbly. I was shocked, no one ever approached me. Just as I was about to reply, Axel leaned over onto my desk to where he was looking at the new kid.

"You don't wanna talk to Riku here, he's what some people would call, a sexual predator." The redhead wiggled his eyebrows at Zexion, then gave me a disgusted look.

"What do you mean?" Zexion asked, and my eyes widened. I could tell Axel was about to ruin this for me. I could tell just by the expression on his face that shit was about to go down, and that I couldn't stop it even if I wanted to.

Axel faced back towards the new student. Axel opened his mouth, and when he spoke it sounded and looked as if everything went into slow motion. I could read Axel's lips so clearly,

_"Riku raped his best friend."_

It wasn't Zexion's facial expression that set me off; it wasn't what Axel said either. It was _how_ he said it. He was using my past as a fucking joke, so I'd be alone for the rest of my goddamn life. I don't know how it happened, but I ended up on top of Axel, and I was pounding my fists against his face.

Our fight didn't last long because our teacher pulled me off of the bleeding teen. Not shortly after that I was sent to the office, where I was told that I was suspended for two days.

I wasn't too worried about it until I got close to my house. What would I tell my mom? I had never gotten in trouble like this before, would she be mad? Sad? Pissed? Concerned? All four? I didn't know, but I knew that I'd find out as soon as she got off work.

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**Damn that Axel!**

**He really isn't a bad guy though. **

**You'll learn more about him, I promise!**

**Time to go update other stuff.**

**Reviews and Followers make me happy.**

**Next chapter should be out soon.**


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